In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
