Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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