i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
