Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
