Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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