No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
