omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
