Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
