We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Damn victory sex feels great
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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