sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
