I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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