So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
