i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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