I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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