The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
