I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
