I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
