piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She's the barista slut.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize