Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
