Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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