I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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