Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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