The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
