It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize