I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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