we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
