I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
