Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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