I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
