dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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