That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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