oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The uberlube is also flammable
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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