there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
