it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
