About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
