Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
