So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
