You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
