you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i need some magic done to my vagina
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
