I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I need to stop coming to work sober
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
