U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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