Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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