So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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