It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
