:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize