I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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