Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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