she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
