So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
