i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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