You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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