Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My vagina just recognized that song.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
