I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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