dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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