i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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