even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
