PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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