im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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