So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize