How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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