You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize