Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
