your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
