i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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