the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
