Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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