Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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