So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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