Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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