I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
